Thursday, July 27, 2006

He doesn't get it...

I guess Elerossë just doesn't get it. He thinks I don't like triple-X movies just because of some religious/moral assumptions about them. This is true, I do not like them because they reduce people to being sexual objects, encourage sex without engagement or even love, separate sex from pro-creation, not to mention the immodesty, infidelity and the list goes on...

Any self-respecting feminist also hates pornography for the simple fact that it reduces women to being sex-objects for men.

But that is not all. The things are actually a major turn-OFF for me. And that is what he doesn't get. I think he thinks that I just won't watch them because I think they're morally wrong, but they'd still turn me on. So then he complains every once in awhile that I won't watch them with him, for example, this comment: "I'd like to watch a XXX movie with my wife but I guess that won't happen." accompanied by a sigh, like the means are out there to stimulate our love-life, but I just refuse to use them.

Somebody, (meaning me, I guess. Sigh), is going to have to set him straight on that one. If he wants me be turned ON, well I am sorry but porn is going to turn me OFF. I might have tried watching them with him before, back when I was compromising on big things for him, but they have NEVER made sex better for me, they have never even made me more arroused. I didn't need THAT to be arroused. And it didn't take all that long to simply find the things idiotic.

Now why in tarnation would he even think I would be arroused by some man and woman (or group of) coldly and passionlessly having very physical sex in about 300 different positions (for the camera you know) where only the guy actually has an orgasm and the girl has to fake it. Not only that, but they are such bad actors, that you can't even believe that they are getting any pleasure. Sorry to be so crude, but a girl wildly bouncing on top of some guy while he SLAPS her buttocks just doesn't feel very authentic. I certainly wouldn't be getting much physical pleasure out of that if I were in her shoes.

I thought I had let him know that porn does not turn me on. I guess I haven't made myself clear enough. It perversely has the opposite effect to the point that, just knowing he has been looking at it himself is enough to turn me off. If he has to look at some other woman in order to get physically aroused, why would that turn ME on?

For some stupid reason the less we have sex, the more he seems to want to do the porn thing, or the "spice it up" thing and the more that turns me off, and the less we have sex. He really doesn't get me. And I have no idea how to explain it to him. I think it must be like a fish trying to explain to a land-lubber what it feels like to breathe through gills. No matter how hard he tried to explain it, the land-lubber wouldn't ever really get it.

Oh, and for the record,... being tired almost all the time for the past oh, year(?) certainly doesn't help either.