Friday, February 24, 2006

What makes a marriage valid?

Spouses must consent to what the Church intends by marriage, that is, fidelity, indissolubility and openness to children. (GNASM page 52)

Elerossë has recently gone and gotten himself a vasectomy. He knows I did not want this, that I prefered to go with NFP but since NFP didn't "work" and we just recently had another child, he has taken it apon himself to make sure that never happens again. (Even though even a vasectomy isn't 100% child-proof.)

There is no point in explaining to him the teachings of the Church on that matter, because quite frankly, the Church and God, (and religion in general) are really far from being an authority on any subject at all for him. Not only would he not be convinced by my arguments, he would most likely shut me out if I even tried to explain. Kind of like talking to a brick wall.

Well, unfortunately for him, his whole plan has backfired on him, because this whole quest for vasectomy and him finally getting one has definitely taken all sexual interest out of me. I already felt there was something missing in our sexual intimacy. I have felt it ever since I read that darn book Good News about Sex and Marriage (GNASM) and realized that I could NEVER have what he (Christopher West) was talking about. Since the vasectomy, it is worse.

I have to wonder, is it all in my head? Plenty of sterilized couples seem to still be enjoying sex, so why is it that whenever sex comes up, all I can think about is how he's got a vasectomy now, and when it comes time to have sex, I can't get the fact that he's got a vasectomy out of my head. It makes it rather hard to concentrate on what I'm doing. In fact, it makes it really hard to have any pleasure at all in what I am doing. In fact, I'd rather be somewhere else, doing something else.

Now if I didn't KNOW that sterilizing sex was wrong, if I had never heard that it affected some people's marriages and love-life, would it be affecting me so much? Is this all in my head?

You know, I really feel like someone doesn't want me writing this. Ever since I decided to go ahead with this blog, I have been too busy and too tired to post at all. And now that I finally get a relatively free day, I keep getting interupted by children and the phone, just now I tried to post it but the connection to was refused, and now the baby is crying in his seat beside me, because he is inconsolable in my arms, won't even breastfeed, and dang it! I WILL finish this post and publish it!!!

There, there, I'm coming now baby...


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